Lord, I'm trying

Lord I hate this feeling of worthlessness...when everything I've accomplished in life never did amount to anything substantial. All along, I thought that I'm half way to my goals in life when in reality I'm still at the starting line. I'm mentally burned out, emotionally unstable, physically worn out, spiritually confused and no one cares. I'm struggling to keep things together for the sake of the people I love, but deep inside I know that I'm about to snap and lose it. I'm grumpy and insensitive...and I'm sorry Lord...but I'm trying.

I find people very irritating...i find them unreasonable and selfish and unfair! I hate the fact that they have the same stinking attitude that I possess...therefore I hate myself and what I've turned into. I lack grace, I withhold mercy and I cut back on impersonal love...I'm sorry Lord...I'm really trying.

I still love teaching...I do...I love the fact that You are real Lord...that Your word is true! It's the only thing in my life that makes sense at the moment...I can never let go of teaching...but the lessons You've been teaching through me are too hard...I've been failing in most of them...and yet You still let me teach. I'm such a failure...I'm sorry Lord, I'm trying.

Lord...I'm lost...I have no idea what You're planning...You know my heart...I'm sorry for doubting or questioning you...I know I'm weak...but Lord, I'm trying.