where to?

I'm torn between the constant nagging of my mentality and the passive aggressive leading of my conscience. They both have weighty and considerably persuasive points that tears my volition straight down the middle.

My mentality says go...leave...you are better off somewhere than here. Starting a family, building a career, and even finding a ministry does not revolve around your current situation. You have potential, you have skills - technically and socially, you have enough know how to survive the outside, corporate world. Go...you know you want to.

My heart on the other hand says...it is up to you...do what you think is best for you. Just remember that this earthly life does not guarantee a permanent state of security. It does not matter if you are here or elsewhere...your state of contentment is an inner state of mind. Just make sure that when you do leave...you know why. Your potential, people skills and technical know-how are nothing compared to the mercy and grace God is willing to bestow on you once you recognize that we have to assume a position of humility. Do what you need to do...before you can do what you want.

can you see my dilemma? I think my melancholic side is getting the best of me...hope this won't last!

Lord...where to?